Loved, just as I am

I’m still allowing myself to slowly grasp this truth. The truth that God desires all of me, and every part is precious to Him.

Still learning this truth that there’s really no need to strive, or prove anything to Him, or seek to earn any love from Him. There’s nothing that I can do or not do to take away or add His love for me.

I think I used to know it in my head, but now…I’m realizing that my heart is only gradually catching up to what this truth really means. How much God loves me, simply as I am, and not what I think I should be as a “good Christian girl”.

*pause*

Got to really let that truth sink deep into me.

Into you too, perhaps?

*breathe*

Few weeks back, my Snr Pastor’s wife encouraged me to share my testimony of how God displayed His love for me in the midst of a very painful year, so I did it up on 1 Jan, & gratefully sent it in to my colleague. It’s such a blessing to even be able to share this as an encouragement.

I hope it blesses you too.

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This is the ring. šŸ™‚ I wear it all the time now, as a reminder of how faithful God is to His Word.

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In this season of rest, I’m enjoying this book by Bonnie Gray, Finding Spiritual Whitespace. When I first got it, I thought it would be simply focusing on finding ways to physically {& emotionally} rest, but just reading the first few chapters made me realise that it goes a lot deeper than that. I found myself pausing a lot in between pages, fearful because of the unexpected places the book was taking me, anxious about what happens when I allow Jesus to enter those dark & desolate places of my life, of my heart. It took me a long while…to release them to Him, and thank God He is ever so gentle with me.

On pg.32, where it says “It’s not easy following Jesus into the whitespaces of the soul. I have wallpapered over many things, believing faith enabled me to move past them. But there comes a time when it takes more faith to fall apart with Jesus than to stay strong enough to stop it from happening.” This spoke so deeply to me, because whether in Christian circles or with pre-believing friends, I realise that many of us do not share openly about what we struggle with. Whenever I take that step of faith to share, well-meaning friends often offer a “fix-it approach” to things, as if a step by step method will be the answer to my heartaches.

I’m learning – and accepting – that sometimes, we miss out on our innermost needs – the need to be in a safe place, in a very, very real way, when we move past our innermost thoughts and feelings…..letting the demands of life numb us to what’s going on inside of us. Reading that passage assured me that it’s always safe to be vulnerable, to be fully myself {though I’m still on a journey on discovering who I really am}, & to just fall apart into the arms of Jesus.

To cry.

And be okay with it.

To get upset.

And not gloss over my feelings, my needs.

To acknowledge that I’m tired.

And not push through beyond what I’m able to bear.

I can be me. Full of needs and wants and dreams and desires, and I don’t have to hide anything from Him because He wants to share that part of my soul with Him too. I don’t have to shove my needs aside, because I am His child, His Treasure. He looks at me with the gentlest touch of love, and He strokes my face, beckoning me to just curl up in His warm embrace.

Of being Home.

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Home with my Father, the safest place with unconditional love.

::linking up with Beloved Brews Thursdays

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4 thoughts on “Loved, just as I am

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