Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing…

Just received news this morning that my grandaunt just passed away few hours ago. πŸ˜” Shock, sadness, grief…all pulled the memories from childhood out. It’s too much for me to process anything right now, but I’m thankful that she came to know the Lord few years ago, and that she is now with our Heavenly Father. 

Would you please keep my grandma in prayer too? For God’s protection upon her emotions and health as she grapples with this news of her twin sister.. 

We just celebrated grandma’s 90th birthday last night. I’m so glad we did, and that cherished memories were created. 

There’s really no better time to live our lives well and love the people around us – than right now. Only God knows the breath of our lives and everything in between. He knows the beginning to the end. We are but mere human beings, living by His grace and mercy alone. 

  
2 Corinthians 6:10

“sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.”

  
2 Corinthians 13:14

“May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”

1 year ago…

Bren reminded me few nights back as we were strolling home, saying, “Wow, 1 year ago this time, we were just starting our IVF treatment.

I paused in my steps. Smiled, and said, “Ya…how time flies, and how things have changed.”

I posted this 1 year ago, when we were just embarking on that new season. 

A season of digging deeper into our faith, a season of allowing God to mould us in times of trials, a season of physical and emotional pain, not knowing when the rainbow at the end will ever arrive, especially after we were told that the treatment was not successful.

But the rainbow did arrive. πŸ™‚

From a place of brokenness and great uncertainty, we held onto His promises by a thread, and now we are experiencing His faithfulness day after day, as our darling baby moves around in me…it’s incredibly surreal. 

God is so faithful. 

And we are so glad for it. πŸ™‚

  
As one chapter of our lives closes, another always opens and breathes out fresh starts. I’ve learnt that regardless of the seasons, God is forever with me. 

Does that mean I now don’t wrestle with insecurity of the unknown and have it all figured out? Of course not. 

In fact, as the day for baby’s arrival draws nearer, I’ve noticed a subtle anxiety creeping up on me. Thoughts run through my head, causing me to worry a little more. About how baby’s room has not been fully furnished yet…about how there are still items that need to be bought…and books that I’ve yet to finish reading. 

Bren sometimes chuckles out, “Do we really know what we’re getting ourselves into?” to which I’ll chuckle back, “Not really!” 

Guess you’ll never really be ready. 

But God whispers, “You don’t have to have it all together.

So I suck in my shallow breaths, anchoring them deeply in His Word, that He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He has brought about such a miraculous gift of life for Bren & I, and He’ll continue to see us through this last stretch of pregnancy and beyond. 

I’ll simply continue to be faithful to do whatever He asks of me each day, and trust Him with the rest. 

So I continue to prepare breakfast every morning. And bake cakes when I’m in the mood for some. I continue to pray and seek Him every time I feel my heart wandering around in the land of anxiety. And I snap a picture of Bren reading to baby – his little bedtime routine for her – because I never ever want to take such moments flippantly. 

  

And I just let Jesus, be Jesus, in me. 

Stop – & really see…

The gifts bestowed to us on every ordinary day. When the sun rises again, and every new day is marked by His light. 

I want to be fully awake to His presence. I want to be fully present to receive His gifts. 

To stop – and really see the gifts for what they are. Undeserved grace and mercy stemming from His love.

I don’t want to miss a moment of it. Not to be asleep…but to live fully present. To smell, to see, to feel them all. 

Lord, help me. 

  

An update

Remember I shared my request for prayers for healing in this baby’s ears?

Well, I’m happy to update all of you that he has passed his hearing test! Praise God. Thank you for your prayers too. πŸ™‚

We attended his 1st month celebration over the weekend, and it was a joyful time of catching up with friends and admiring baby Joash’s thick hair. 

  
As we start this new week, I pray that you’ll be blessed, whatever your plans are. 

May little Chloe’s funny faces give you a bright start to your day too!

  

Girlfriend timeΒ 

  

A simple dinner followed by ice-cream for desserts – always refreshes my soul. More than that, it’s the time spent together that means a lot to me. 

On good days, on hard days, even on regular ordinary days, time with my dear girlfriends are treasured moments. 

As we refresh each other, God’s presence refreshes us as well. πŸ™‚

Isaiah 26:3 

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.