whispers for your weekendย 

Happy Friday everyone!

Our little family says hi! ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ง

  
Baby Ellie finally arrived on 29/10 morning, and we are so enamoured with her already. 

So thankful for God seeing us through 6 hours of labor, and for the overwhelming love from family and friends. She’s truly our miracle baby, all glory to God. 

6 years ago this day, Brendan proposed to me. ๐Ÿ™‚ 6 years on, we’re cuddling our 1 day old baby. God has such a way with stories, I tell you. โค๏ธ

Btw, am sneaking in this post while she’s sleeping, haha. Parenthood 101, I’m learning. 

๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ So may your weekend be filled with many moments of joy – in your private, no-one-but-me spaces, and in your widely shared spheres too. May you have time for the simple luxuries of life, savouring and cherishing whatever this weekend gifts you. 

Sending you lots & lots of love, hugs & kisses! ๐Ÿ’‹

In a blink of an eye…

Kaelyn is all grown up. ๐Ÿ™‚ God tells me again and again in how I witness her growth, that everything He does indeed has a purpose – a very beautiful one, in fact. 

  
He is the one that transforms my life, day by day. He is also the one that is working in sweet Kaelyn’s life right now. 

And very soon, we’ll be seeing how He weaves together His story for our darling baby’s life too. 

I love my Jesus so much. Thank God for His love. ๐Ÿ’—

whispers for your weekendย 

A friend of mine just received news today that her IVF attempt was not successful. ๐Ÿ˜” 

Brings flashbacks to our arduous conceiving journey, and reminds me to keep giving thanks for our baby girl, who’ll be coming out anytime soon. 

Keep giving thanks. Keep giving thanks. Regardless of how and when she comes out, we’ve got to keep giving thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚

  
๐ŸŒฟ Galatians 5:1

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

๐Ÿƒ May our good Lord make every crooked path straight for you, dear friends, as you sit in His presence, with no agenda except to be with Him. May the intentional silence in your weekend be a spot of rest for your soul, allowing you to finally exhale. May you not miss out on the tiny wild flowers that graze your feet, nor the dimpled smiles of strangers’ kids, knowing that everything truly is a gift. ๐Ÿ™‚

๐Ÿ“– here’s a good read for your weekend: “If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you possibly help and support others?” Read HERE.

Enjoy!

A letter to myselfย 

Dear Jacinta,

The fact that your Mac & cheese was a flop, doesn’t mean that you are a flop. Though it must’ve been disappointing, spending a long hour on it and having it fail miserably. Well, at least you managed to salvage a portion of it for breakfast tomorrow. Thank God your husband isn’t that picky, and will eat most of the stuff you cook. Most of the stuff. 

Maybe you should take out that coconut juice that you’ve been saving up for and cheer yourself with it. That should help you feel better. 

Again, you are not the Mac & cheese. The Mac & cheese was a flop, not you. Maybe just avoid making Mac & cheese for a while, ahem.

Yup, now go have your coconut. ๐Ÿ˜

โค๏ธ 

10 Thanksgivings :)

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Reflecting on this pregnancy journey, I can’t help but give thanks for how it has been.

  1. For how Bren has managed to accompany me for every visit to the gynae. Having him around as support makes such a difference, and makes the long waiting period that bit more bearable too.
  2. For caring parents and in-laws who made sure that I got the nourishment I needed. Especially during the first and second trimesters, Mum would cook my lunch at her place, and Dad would bring it over to me before he leaves for work in the late morning. My MIL would prepare nourishing soups and tonics on weekends, and catered to my cravings and preferences when cooking.
  3. For the nightly routines of Bren chatting with baby and praying for us. His prayers may sometimes be short and funny, which makes me smile, knowing that baby has such a doting and adorable papa!
  4. For caring friends who would cover us in prayers and give us well-intentioned advice. ย Thankful for experienced Mummys who would give me tips and hand-me-downs as well. Baby is very well-provided for, haha.
  5. For a relatively easy pregnancy journey, with no major issues. It makes it a lot easier to enjoy the changes happening in my body, and to focus on every new stage of development.
  6. For how God arranged for me to not work during this pregnancy, so I could rest anytime I needed to. During the first trimester, I would sometimes take 2-3 naps in the day, and could still sleep around 9pm because I was just so tired!
  7. For sweet Kaelyn, who would lovingly greet baby each time with a “sayang” or a kiss. Too cute!
  8. For our memorable babymoon in Hong Kong, where we got to rest more and relish this gift of life together. ๐Ÿ™‚
  9. For a very nice gynae whom we trust and have good rapport with. He’s rather fatherly towards me!
  10. Ultimately, very thankful for God’s provision and protection every step of the way, especially in the beginning when I didn’t know I was pregnant yet, and went on physically-demanding activities, like our Tree Top walk!

What are you thankful for today? ๐Ÿ™‚

Always, I will sing your praises :)

So to honor and celebrate the faithfulness of God, especially in seeing Bren and I through the heartache after our IVF journey, I made beef balls pasta for dinner last night – Bren’s favorite. ๐Ÿ™‚

Topped with lots of Parmesan cheese. And lots and lots of thanksgiving. ๐Ÿ˜˜ 

We chatted about how it seemed just like yesterday when we received the heartbreaking news, how far God has seen us through, and how He miraculously provided Bren with a new job at the end of 2014 – the start of Him making everything new in that painful season. The first rainbow at the end of the storm. 

๐Ÿ It was a very ordinary dinner time, but His love and presence so tangibly felt. 

How can we ever stop praising Him? Never

Always, always – in good times and challenging times – we will choose to sing His praises. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

1 year on…

This Mandarin song by Stream of Praise anchored my IVF treatment last year: I Surrender My All. Listening to it again brings back so many memories, and tears me up each time. 

I would listen to this song before seeing the gynae, reminding my soul to remain rested in His ways. It helped with my nerves, especially before injections. 

On the day that we were waiting to receive the call regarding the outcome of the IVF treatment, 20 October 2014, I did not want to focus on anything other than God’s Word and His promises. Time seemed to crawl…..and it wasn’t easy centering my thoughts on God. 

I would play the same song, and listen to songs in the same album too. This went on for hours and hours on repeat till finally after a late lunch, I received the call from the nurse. 

Her voice was soft and gentle, as if she was treading on shaky ground. And the truth was, she was indeed. My heart was in this state of calmness and trembling, wrestling hard back and forth between the two. 

Bren was right in front of me, watching my face carefully for any expression that might clue him into the treatment’s results. 

I’m sorry but you’re not pregnant.

My ears could hear those words, but my heart couldn’t make sense of it at all. 

I got her to repeat {the poor nurse}, and so she repeated something about my Hcg levels being less than 1, and a bit more info that simply flew past my crushed heart. 

All I could think of was, what do you mean I’m not pregnant? How can it be unsuccessful? God says He’ll make me fruitful! And what God says, He’ll fulfill! 

I was a quiet mess inside, stunned and devastated. I decided to hand the phone over to Bren, who wasn’t doing much better either. 

After the call ended, we gave in to the crying. ๐Ÿ˜ญ We cried, we hugged, we recalled the whole IVF process…and we cried and cried and cried. 

We cried for the loss. For the pain of the loss. For the hope that was gone. We cried and cried, till we reached that place of complete emptiness. 

I knew I needed to update my bosses and team of staff, because my hospitalization leave was till that very day, and would only be extended if I was pregnant. But I just couldn’t. At least not yet. I was just so tired out from all the crying. 

There was a tiny part of me that was still hoping. There was a tiny part of me that still believed God’s Word and His faithfulness. There was that tiny part of me that knew God loved me, and that He was the One who led me on this journey, and that this cannot be the very ending of His story. It just couldn’t be the end. 

That tiny part in me was there solely by His grace and mercy. 

That tiny part was somehow multiplied by His grace, and it allowed me to carry my grief into His presence…and slowly, He lovingly healed my weary soul. 

I’m allowing myself to go into this very painful day of mourning – 20 October 2014, because 1 year on – on this very day, 20 October 2015, God has shown me yet again how faithful He really is by arranging for the same people who supported me during the period of grief last year, to bless me with their visit this afternoon. 

This is how wonderful God is. ๐Ÿ™‚ Right to the very day…His timing is always perfect and full of love. 

If it wasn’t because of my bosses who insisted I work from home, giving me the space to grief and heal, I wouldn’t be able to get to a better place so fast. If it wasn’t because of my lovely team of staff that assured me that things at the Centre would still run smoothly, I wouldn’t be able to rest my mind about work, even if I was resting at home. 

I don’t want to ever forget His faithfulness to me, nor take any of this wonderful story for granted. โค๏ธ

Who knew, that when I was mourning 1 year ago, that 1 year later, I would be joyfully anticipating the arrival of my baby girl? 

Who knew, that as Bren and I cried our most broken hearts away, that exactly 1 year later, our hearts would not just be wholly mended, but also bursting with excitement to receive our gift of life?

No one knew. Only God knew. 

It is His story after all, and it’s such an honor to be able to testify of His love and goodness. 

๐Ÿ’• A photo to remind myself that God truly works all things for our good. We can always trust Him, for He is our awesome, good Shepherd. ๐Ÿ™‚