& goodbye, for now :)

Have been giving this a lot of thought this Chinese New Year, as I soak in the festive cheer and enjoy a different kind of celebration now with Ellie joining us. 

It’s a different season that we are in, and I’m seeking greater focus. So I’m intentionally dropping a few things in order to make space for what God has called me to in this precious season of parenthood. Have enjoyed blogging over so many years and making new friendships through it, but I’ve decided to take a break…at least for now. No idea if I’ll come back to it, but I’m taking one thing at a time. 🙂

Thank you for the encouraging words and the sweet love you’ve blessed me with over the years, friends! 

I thought it’ll be apt to end with this picture…

  
Onwards to more snuggling and cuddling of my loved ones! 

{am still going to update and connect through Facebook and Instagram though. that’s part of my way of connecting with the outside world now that I’m staying home most of the time! haha}

God bless you! 🙂

Always, I will sing your praises :)

So to honor and celebrate the faithfulness of God, especially in seeing Bren and I through the heartache after our IVF journey, I made beef balls pasta for dinner last night – Bren’s favorite. 🙂

Topped with lots of Parmesan cheese. And lots and lots of thanksgiving. 😘 

We chatted about how it seemed just like yesterday when we received the heartbreaking news, how far God has seen us through, and how He miraculously provided Bren with a new job at the end of 2014 – the start of Him making everything new in that painful season. The first rainbow at the end of the storm. 

🍝 It was a very ordinary dinner time, but His love and presence so tangibly felt. 

How can we ever stop praising Him? Never. 

Always, always – in good times and challenging times – we will choose to sing His praises. 🙂 

whispers for your weekend

This week has been one of painful pruning. 

And in the midst of reluctant tears and quiet desperate prayers, I’m asking God to show me what His lessons are. 

What issues of my heart are you trying to surface here, Lord? 

What is it that You want me to see? 

What is it that You want me to let go of? 

My soul is learning to remain in the freedom that Christ has already given. Not to be in bondage of making others happy, nor to be entangled in the mess of others’ responses, which have never been within my control to begin with. 

So He whispers, it’s you that now needs to receive My love. No need to bother about anyone else’s needs for now…just let the little girl in you receive from Me. 

Just receive My love. 💞

My heart helplessly crumbles whenever He speaks with such tenderness and clarity…

  
🌸 May this fresh, new weekend see you showing your soul some love. 🙂 

Let’s do something special for ourselves that will put a smile on our faces, no matter how small. Let’s find something to laugh about, and preferably do it with someone we love. 

May you see the holy in the teeny-tiny, and His amazingly constant love in the daily grind. May His big picture overwhelm all of your burdens so much that they pale in comparison, knowing that He has always been fully sovereign and in control. 

Bless you dear friends…we are so loved by the King. 🌸

Coping with the impending season of change

  
In this in between season of not-yet-officially-a-mum and being-a-mum-very-soon, I’ve come to realize that I need to be very intentional about certain things in order to transit well to the new season of motherhood. 

I’ve read the books, I’ve gained advice from experienced mums, and we’ve bought pretty much all the necessary. 

But when it boils down to the heart of the matter, what I also needed was quiet space to fulfill a few adjustments of my heart that were more internal and less external. 

In sharing my thoughts, I hope it encourages you in your journey through changes in your life too, whether it is to do with motherhood or not. 

❤️ As the realization hit these past weeks about how big a change we were going to face, I gave myself permission to mourn. Yup. To have a little grieving period on how my past season – life, as we currently know it – will be over. It will never be the same. Something like a closure. A goodbye of sorts.

As excited as I am about welcoming our precious one, in order to fully embrace this change in role, I needed to recognize my feelings towards the end of the current season too. I’m taking it as a form of gentleness and care for myself, so that I will not have residual or subconscious feelings of negativity when stress comes our way this new season. 

💜 Keep an attitude of thanksgiving, especially when expectations are not met. I still have activities that I long to do, and people that I long to meet up with. I had hopes and prayers about certain issues that I desired to be resolved by this year. But I’m recognizing how they need to be on pause for a while, as we hold back and focus on our little baby instead. There is a time and season for everything, and we’ll simply look into it again once we get a hang of this parenting thing. 😉

💛 Recall God’s faithfulness in the past, and be assured that He is with me. Oh, how I really need this. It’s a constant reminder to my soul to not get hurried or frantic, but to keep recalling His goodness and know that His presence will carry me through every challenge and every surprising turn in this new adventure. 

Isaiah 41:10 is now my “labour verse” 😆. I intend to store it deep in my heart so that His Word strengthens me when the going gets tough. 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

💚 Do what is within my portion and release the rest to God. These days, I try to double up the portion whenever I have the energy to cook, so that on weekdays when I don’t feel up to it, there are still healthy food options in my fridge instead of resorting to getting takeaway food all the time. 

I’m also accepting the fact that I’ll never get to finishing ALL the books that I was hoping to read. God knows how much I need to know, and that helps me to surrender and entrust this whole season to Him too. For I know it’s not by any of my effort, but by His grace alone. 

💙 Be gracious towards Bren & myself in this transition to parenthood. I need to guard myself against having unrealistic expectations about us, knowing that we’ll mess up many times, be blur about the things we shouldn’t be blur about, and that we may snap at each other over the silliest, smallest things. After all, we’re human. 🙂 

Lavishing grace towards ourselves eases us into this exciting change, knowing how fallible we are. I’ve also learnt to keep short(er) records, and to stick to issues at hand instead of enlarging it in my mind…thinking that his action/lack of action represents a bigger issue in our marriage. Many times, it honestly doesn’t. We were just made differently, and I’m learning to honor that. 

❤️ Enjoy the change. 🙂 A daily reminder to enjoy this adventure of parenthood together. Because, we’re really better together. I’m reminded that this season is to help us slow down…..to live with more humility and presence in each moment, and to prepare us for whatever God has in store for our journeys ahead. There’s always a bigger picture, and I must not get lost in the nitty-gritty of the mundane.

So, there you go. 🙂 We’re all ready and counting down the days to our little princess’s arrival! 👧🏻

A celebration of our hearts

Joined together, only because of His love that sustains us. 

My mama-heart is so blissful today, because more than the sweet pearl earrings he got me, and the fancy dinner we’re enjoying {that will probably be the last for a long, long time!}…I’m so thankful for a husband who quietly pampers, someone who faithfully cares. In his own special way. 🙂

  
If this sweetness comes from 5 years of marriage, I cannot imagine how it’s going to be 50 years down the road. 💗

Thank you Jesus! 🙂 

32 weeks!

It’s countdown time. 🙂 Hard to believe that in just a matter of weeks, we’ll be meeting our darling baby face to face, but that is the wonderful reality! We are so looking forward. 

  
Had a lovely dinner with girlfriends @ Fullerton’s Clifford Pier on Friday to start the weekend, and the ambience was so grand yet cosy, I’d love to head there again.

  
On Saturday, we’d our second last childbirth class, and we got to take care of our “pretend baby”. 😆 Was a little awkward, but a good session nonetheless. Oh and we watched “Inside Out” after that – we loved it!

  
As for today, had a sweet time with Kaelyn. Always an extra-happy Sunday with her around. 🙂

  
Recounting weekend moments always bring me so much joy. 🙂

Hope you’d a fantastic one too!

1 year ago…

Bren reminded me few nights back as we were strolling home, saying, “Wow, 1 year ago this time, we were just starting our IVF treatment.”

I paused in my steps. Smiled, and said, “Ya…how time flies, and how things have changed.”

I posted this 1 year ago, when we were just embarking on that new season. 

A season of digging deeper into our faith, a season of allowing God to mould us in times of trials, a season of physical and emotional pain, not knowing when the rainbow at the end will ever arrive, especially after we were told that the treatment was not successful.

But the rainbow did arrive. 🙂

From a place of brokenness and great uncertainty, we held onto His promises by a thread, and now we are experiencing His faithfulness day after day, as our darling baby moves around in me…it’s incredibly surreal. 

God is so faithful. 

And we are so glad for it. 🙂

  
As one chapter of our lives closes, another always opens and breathes out fresh starts. I’ve learnt that regardless of the seasons, God is forever with me. 

Does that mean I now don’t wrestle with insecurity of the unknown and have it all figured out? Of course not. 

In fact, as the day for baby’s arrival draws nearer, I’ve noticed a subtle anxiety creeping up on me. Thoughts run through my head, causing me to worry a little more. About how baby’s room has not been fully furnished yet…about how there are still items that need to be bought…and books that I’ve yet to finish reading. 

Bren sometimes chuckles out, “Do we really know what we’re getting ourselves into?” to which I’ll chuckle back, “Not really!” 

Guess you’ll never really be ready. 

But God whispers, “You don’t have to have it all together.”

So I suck in my shallow breaths, anchoring them deeply in His Word, that He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He has brought about such a miraculous gift of life for Bren & I, and He’ll continue to see us through this last stretch of pregnancy and beyond. 

I’ll simply continue to be faithful to do whatever He asks of me each day, and trust Him with the rest. 

So I continue to prepare breakfast every morning. And bake cakes when I’m in the mood for some. I continue to pray and seek Him every time I feel my heart wandering around in the land of anxiety. And I snap a picture of Bren reading to baby – his little bedtime routine for her – because I never ever want to take such moments flippantly. 

  

And I just let Jesus, be Jesus, in me. 

8 Little “big” things

As I journey along in this 3rd trimester, I’m thankful for these little “big” things that have helped a lot. 🙂

  
1. Drinking my favorite strawberry milk. Yum!

2. Watching Hong Kong dramas with Bren at night, haha. Comical, light-hearted shows are the best!

3. Therapetic coloring in the evenings to unwind.

4. Watching how my orchid plant blooms. Reminds me to be faithfully doing my part to “water” baby too, and trust God to have her grow well and healthily.

5. Spending time with Kaelyn and Kaeson. They bring so much joy to all of us!

6. Comfy shoes! 

7. Bren helping me with the housework – so, so important!

8. Ultimately, savouring every bit of this pregnancy journey, for I know it’ll end in a blink of an eye…

What helped you in your pregnancy? 🙂

What better way :)

To end the long holiday weekend break with Bren, than to spend it over sharing a sweet dessert and watching a gentle sunset unfold?

No better way. 🙂

  
This past week, my heart has been pruned to embrace imperfections. To embrace the impending motherhood and the fact that being a first-time parent, Bren and I will have a steep learning curve…to enjoy. To also embrace different seasons of life, including those of goodbyes – even short, temporary ones, that honestly still make my heart ache. 

I’ve learnt to look for the daily blessings, sometimes hidden in the imperfection and interruptions of our days, and to enjoy them as they are. 

Giving thanks for the blessings of good sleep, relaxing moments with loved ones, and delicious desserts…

Deep roots, in Singapore

We headed for a quiet time of tea @ Paul in town yesterday. Away from the crowds, though I honestly wouldn’t mind jostling a bit in the festivities if I wasn’t pregnant. 

It was very lovely soaking in the rainy weather with hot chocolate and a sweet berry tart, and enjoying French music that we couldn’t understand, haha. 

  
As the nation turns 50 tomorrow, I get into reflective mode {and rightly so}…and when we walked past this art piece last evening, it was reminder of what I read in the 50.Day.2015 Prayer Guide:

  
“Pray for deep personal rootedness: the sense that their destiny is intertwined with the destiny of this nation. Pray for parents, the first teachers in a child’s formative years. National Education is great. But try as we may, rootedness is not easily taught at school. It must be caught at home from loving parents who love Singapore.” – pg.195

May we be deeply rooted in the love of God, and allow His love to blossom in this country of ours. 💞